


Silence

by FuntasticFrost



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies), Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Car Accidents, Closeted Character, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Homophobic Language, Hurt Jack Frost, M/M, Mild Language, Older Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-24
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-04-06 00:19:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4200690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FuntasticFrost/pseuds/FuntasticFrost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Jack, stop it. I said I was sorry," Hiccup demanded, agitated, while the blue eyed boy clearly strained to contain his feelings.</p><p>"You shouldn't be the one apologizing. It's my own fault for wishing for something more. It's never going to happen. I need to get over it." The sound of his tightened vocal chords made Hiccup feel wretched. Jack lifted his head up again to meet his eyes. Something shattered.</p><p>"I'm sorry, okay? I'm so fucking sorry."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hold Me Close

Hiccup wasn't accustomed to the overbearing silence that came with the absence of his best friend. Jack wasn't really gone, but he wasn't really there, either. The boy with bleached hair was no longer speaking to him, and even though the shunning session had only just begun, it seemed as if an eternity had passed since their argument. A mental record player spun inside Hiccup's brain, stuck on constant replay of all the harsh words he’d said.

_ "You're so clingy." _

_ "Why don't you like Astrid? Can't you just accept that I love her?" _

_ "My life doesn't revolve around you. You aren't the only important person in my life." _

_ "You're my best friend, she's my girlfriend. I have to prioritize." _

_ "Why are you looking at me like that?" _

_ "What the hell is your problem?" _

_ "Goddammit Jack! Say something!" _

But Jack said nothing. He just continued to stare at him, long and hard, his eyes full of hurt and other unnamed things Hiccup couldn't identify. Then he abruptly spun around on his heel and marched out of the room. A door slammed. Hiccup simply stood there, breathing heavy. His throat was hot, tight and twisted. His ears released emissions of steam until the record player started the song. Green eyes widened and he yanked open the door ; he started down the hall, only to realize that Jack was long gone.

Hiccup didn't get a chance to try to talk to his friend until three days later, Wednesday, but the boy managed to elude him. Jack's avoidance was blatantly obvious, even Miss Toothiana had observed a shift in both of their demeanors, but no one said anything. Not Miss Toothiana, none of the other art kids, and especially not Jack.

Boisterous cheering erupted around him, summoning him from his recollection.  _ The Grunkles _ had actually scored the first touchdown of the season. Shocking. No wonder everyone was making such a fuss. Hiccup clapped half-heartedly, warming his hands. He never looked forward to these football games: they were never interesting and he always ended up an icicle.

He glanced over towards Astrid and Jack, who were leaning up against the fence, talking. Hiccup had requested that she attempt to pacify Jack. As he observed them from up on the bleachers, he was thankful that Jack was even talking to Astrid. The roots of their dispute began with her, after all. He couldn't hear their words from his heightened position, but he could make out the pink stinging Jack's ears, nose, and cheeks. The blue-eyed boy was so cold that his lips were tinted a faint purple. Jack pulled a Snoggletog scarf (a gift from Hiccup’s mom) tighter around his neck. Hiccup wished that he was down there right now, wrapping his arms around his friend and keeping him warm.

A smile crept onto his face but he wiped it away when Jack noticed he was being observed. The boy spun his head and gazed up at him through the crowd of people. Their eyes met, and Jack frowned before turning to leave. Astrid reached out to stop him, but he pushed her away. 

Why was he always pushing people away?

 

* * *

 

_ "Excuse me, sorry, I need to get through!" _

Hiccup started down the metal steps of the bleachers, plowing his way through the throng of people. He wasn't going to let Jack get away. He spotted the Snoggletog scarf flailing in the wind and chased after it. He had a hard time running with his prosthetic, but he managed to move quickly enough. Jack was much faster than him and weaved through the mob as he made his way towards the school building. Hiccup received many rude expressions and gestures when he bumped into others, but he disregarded them. He needed to get to his friend, he needed to apologize. Hiccup couldn't live his life without him.

The human density of the school grounds decreased dramatically as he neared the parking lot. He spotted Jack speed-walking towards his car. Hiccup broke out into a sprint, reaching him and slamming the door shut before it could open. Jack's eyes widened with surprise and they grew even larger when Hiccup reached out, grabbing the arm of his hoodie. The boy tried to escape out of his grip but he held fast. Soon enough Jack stopped struggling and they simply stood there, the air teeming with unspoken words and unvoiced, painful emotions.

"I'm sorry," Hiccup let out; the words had been on his tongue for the longest time, but they’d been trapped until this moment.

"Are you?" Jack asked in a tone of voice that Hiccup hadn't known he could use. It stung.

"Of course I am! I didn't mean any of those things—" Hiccup continued his apology until his friend cut him off.

"That's a lie. You meant everything, it was all true. Every last word," Jack interjected, shaking his head. He took a deep, shaking breath, and spilt his sorrows.

"I know… I'm not important. I know Astrid is more important. I  _ know _ all of that. But sometimes I wish I was. I wish I was more than nothing to you," Jack said softly, his voice wavering. He tore his teary gaze away from Hiccup's face, blue irises shimmering. Hiccup was speechless, and there was an aching in his heart. Did he really make his friend feel like he was…  _ nothing? _ But Jack was certainly more than nothing. He was his best friend, his closest companion, his partner.

"Jack, listen to me. You're being melodramatic," Hiccup sighed in frustration, rubbing his temple. He had never seen his friend so upset before and was frankly unnerved. 

“I’m not--” Jack began but Hiccup cut him off. 

"Jack, stop it. I said I was sorry," Hiccup demanded, agitated, while the blue eyed boy was clearly straining to contain his feelings.

"You shouldn't be the one apologizing. It's my own fault for wishing for something more. It's never going to happen. I need to get over it," the sound of his tightened vocal chords made Hiccup feel wretched, and Jack lifted his head up again to meet his eyes. Something shattered.

"I'm sorry, okay? I'm so fucking sorry."

Hiccup wanted to smack him. He wanted to knock some sense into that brilliant, artistically talented brain of his. At the same time, he wanted to squeeze the smaller boy in his arms and hold him close, telling him how special he was and how he couldn't live a day without him. How he was important and how nothing should make him think otherwise. He wanted the sadness to vanish from the Jack’s face; he wanted to be the one to make it disappear.

Hiccup opened his mouth again, "Jack..."

The smaller boy's face hardened and he frowned, "Just, don't say anything."

"I need you to hear me—"

"Just  _ shut up!" _ Jack's voice rose and he shoved Hiccup away, breaking free of his hold. He spun around and started running in the opposite direction. 

Hiccup started after his friend, "Jack, wait! Don't—"

Hiccup's voice broke off into a scream as a truck sped forwards and rammed into Jack, flinging him ten feet in the air. There was an earth shattering sound of snapping and crunching; cries of agony followed afterwards.

Hiccup swore his heart stopped.

"Jack!" his scream matched the noise of the tires coming to a halt; he bolted across the parking lot towards his friend. He skid onto his knees and knelt down next to Jack, who was a sobbing, bloody, mangled mess of a human being. His limbs were bent at awkward angles as he laid sprawled out on the pavement, ribs and leg bones jutting out in wrong places. There was a red gash on his forehead, adding to the horrific sight that made Hiccup so nauseous he was lucky he didn't throw up. A puddle of blood was steadily forming around the barely functioning body of his best friend.

"Jack, hey, hold on buddy, it's okay," Hiccup reassured and his friend’s hazy, tortured eyes found his own. Tears were being shed meritoriously. The driver who had hit Jack was coming towards them.

"Go get help! Go get the  _ fucking ambulance! _ He's bleeding to death  _ go get some fucking help!" _ Hiccup shouted furiously, wishing that he could blame the driver for what happened, but knowing that it was all his fault. He returned his attention to Jack, his voice softening.

"It's okay… you're fine..." he whispered, lifting his friend's head into his lap. Jack wouldn't avert his eyes from his face. A shaking hand curled around Hiccup's fingers.

"D-don't leave m-me..." Jack sobbed, his words barely audible, as his entire body trembled from pain. He must’ve had dozen broken bones. Hiccup tried to smile, but all that came out was a grimace.

“I won't leave you Jack, I'm gonna stay right here," Hiccup promised, clutching his broken friend to his chest. He looked towards the football field where lights were shining brightly and no one seemed to notice that someone had just gotten run over.

" _ Help! _ Somebody, help,  _ please!" _ Hiccup shouted desperately, rocking Jack back and forth in his arms. The stench of blood filled his nostrils and Jack's eyelids fluttered; the boy was barely awake. A chord of panic was plucked inside Hiccup's heart.

"No, don't you  _ dare _ blackout...stay with me..." Hiccup demanded, shaking his body a little bit. Jack groaned and choked on a sob, spitting out blood. A rib must've punctured his lung. Tears were streaming freely down Hiccup's face and he could barely see the medics running towards the pair of them. Thankfully, there were already medics present due to the football game. An ambulance was being driven down from the field. The medics came towards him and tried to take Jack out of his arms. Hiccup held onto him tighter.

_ "No! Stop! You can't take him!" _ Hiccup screeched, completely out of it and forgetting all common sense. They pried the boy's unconscious body from his arms and hoisted Jack up onto a gurney, rushing him towards the red lights of the ambulance. Two medics were holding Hiccup back from running after the vehicle as the doors sealed shut. The medics disappeared and someone was embracing him. Warm arms, the scent of sunflowers, and a fuzzy scarf. Astrid. She stroked his hair as he collapsed onto the asphalt, crying as the ambulance sped away. Whispering comforting words that did nothing to soothe the agony inside of him.

"Jack… Jack… I have t-to  _ go _ , we have to g-go to the hospital…  _ Jack _ ..." Hiccup stammered. He was holding onto Astrid like a lifeline, as if he would sink under any second. She shushed him like a little child.

"I know, I know… he'll be okay, babe..." she promised, although to Hiccup, the vow sounded empty.

The brunette boy buried his face into the crook of her neck, sniffling. An engine roared to life nearby and he looked up as his friends, Snoutlout and Fishlegs, pulled up next to them in a car. Hiccup gathered his senses and staggered to his feet with assistance from Astrid, hurrying into the vehicle.

"Drive!" he commanded, a little too harshly, before the door was even closed. Snoutlout listened to him and they drove after the red lights and Jack. Hiccup dried his eyes and found that his heart was beating rapidly enough to take flight.

Each second that he was separated from Jack was the equivalent of an eternity. 


	2. Don't Let Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiccup didn't care about the assholes who gossiped when they found out that they had sleepovers together. Friends slept over at each other's houses! That was a normal thing. Hiccup huffed.
> 
> Some people just were digging for something that wasn't there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has flashbacks because...I love flashbacks. ^-^  
> Enjoy!

Hiccup's head was in his hands as he sat on the edge of his seat, his knee bouncing, fingers twitching. He was sitting in a crowded waiting room due to a receptionist's recommendation. The red lipped woman hadn't allowed him to follow the stretcher into the emergency room. She politely gave him two options: either sit tight or get escorted out.

The plastic chair was too hard for his ass and he shifted uncomfortably, glaring at his sneakers. He wished he could've rushed into the ER after Jack, but he wasn't permitted due to his emotional state.

Hell, what did they expect? Total calmness? His best friend just got hit by a truck.

Hiccup's eyes scanned the room. Jack's family was there, along with the entire art program. There were some freshmen girls crying obnoxiously in the corner, to which he rolled his eyes. They weren't the ones who had just almost lost their best friend. The key word being  _ almost _ . Jack was going to be okay. Jack, the cross-country star, could run several miles without stopping. Jack, the aspiring artist, could paint snowflakes so they were the real thing. This was Jack (his perfect Jack), and he could do anything.

He could conquer this.

Hiccup glanced over towards Jack's family. The Overlands were hardworking, generous, compassionate people. They were a compendium of chocolate eyes, brown hair, and freckled skin. Jack was the unique one with sapphire irises and dyed locks. Everyone always said Jack was special. 

The Overlands, loved by all, were surrounded in comfort, buried under hugs, tissues, and condolences. Jack's younger sister, Emma, was seated in a familiar position as Hiccup, hunched over with her head in her hands. Sniffles could occasionally be heard. A wave of guilt washed over him. A reasonable part of him knew that it wasn't his fault, that there was no way he could've caused the accident, but at the same time he blamed himself. If he hadn't acted like a jerk then Jack wouldn't have ran away from him.

Hiccup could still see the dark maroon liquid glimmering against the pavement, illuminated by headlights. He could see Jack's anguished face…

Hiccup curled his hands into fists, tugging on his hair. He couldn't stand this. How was he supposed to survive waiting this long?

The clock hands moved sluggishly in a circle while he tried not to explode. He repeated the alphabet and counted under his breath, reciting every tedious list to pass the endless time. His eyes shifted from the clock to the door to Emma and back again, unable to rest in one place.

It was ten P.M. and he’d been waiting for two hours. Art kids walked out the door every minute once they realized that they weren't going to receive news anytime soon. Only Jack's close friends and Ms. Toothiana remained, but the teacher had her own children at home to tend to.

Fishlegs paused before leaving, reminding Hiccup that they had a Calculus test the next day. There was school tomorrow? Did that even matter? Hiccup grunted and informed his fellow senior that he wasn't leaving anytime soon.

Snoutlout tried the same thing and Hiccup replied with more malice in his voice. Snoutlout left with a sigh.

Then there was Astrid.

His girlfriend hadn't spoken a word to him since he jumped out of the car and ran into the hospital ahead of her. During the past few eons of waiting, he’d faintly noticed that she was attempting to comfort everyone. Astrid was a symbol of hope, everyone looked up to her, and most of the art students were convinced that Jack was going to be alright after hearing her reassurances.

Astrid placed a warm hand on his shoulder, but he didn't respond. She rubbed soothing circles into his back; he hummed softly. Her eyes were full of compassionate concern.

Hiccup met her gaze and started crying. Not as hideous as the horrific sobs from before, but still ugly. He was hiccupping and he wiped the snot from his nose. She didn't say anything and embraced him in a hug. She understood him. He told her about the fight during the car ride and she knew his guilt. Jack was her friend too. She was suffering on the inside just like him.

"He'll be okay," Astrid reassured him and he nodded, restraining any further tears. She offered him a slight smile and a ride. He declined. She went home.

It was eleven P.M and Hiccup was alone in the waiting room with Jack's family.

His mind drifted to some of his past adventures with his best friend. They were always teasing each other and having fun. They were inseparable. They sat next to each other, always, and Miss Toothiana often commented that they needed to stop flirting and holding hands 'cause they needed to paint. Those type of jokes were kind of awkward, considering Hiccup had a girlfriend, but they were effective for the teacher’s purposes. Both of the boys would look at each other, blushing madly with embarrassment, and would shut up. 

 

* * *

 

During art class, the two boys barely ever actually paid attention. They did their work (usually) and didn’t cause any trouble (sometimes). One day Jack was scribbling snowflakes on the table and Hiccup was drawing a hideous caricature of his best friend when Miss Toothiana coughed to get their attention. 

“Thank you for volunteering, boys,” she announced. Hiccup lifted his shaggy head of hair and Jack wore a befuddled expression. 

“What?” he asked, confused. He didn’t have a clue as to what she was talking about (because he hadn’t been listening). 

The classroom burst into a chorus of giggles and the teacher pursed her lips. 

“Get up here, you two,” she ordered and the laughter grew louder. Hiccup obeyed her instructions, and before he knew what was happening there was a cowboy hat on his head and a magenta boa wrapped around Jack’s neck. 

“Put your hand here, Haddock,” Ms. Toothiana commanded, taking his hand and placing it on Jack’s waist. Jack flinched and his cheeks flared up so vibrantly they were as pink as the feathers. 

“I didn’t sign up for this!” Hiccup protested after noticing how clearly uncomfortable his friend was. He felt rather awkward himself, considering he was forced to pose in a waltz stance with another guy. But at least he wasn’t set up to be the girl, like Jack. Poor buddy. 

Miss Toothiana chuckled and continued to maneuver their unwilling limbs. A cool hand was positioned on his shoulder and their fingers intertwined. Jack’s palm was rather sweaty and nearly shaking. The teacher backed away, nodding in approval, and then to Hiccup’s horror everyone started drawing them. 

“Overland, you look like you just walked into a ladies’ bathhouse. Calm down,” she commented and the girls erupted into snickers. Jack simply blushed more. His icy eyes darted around, glancing everywhere other than at Hiccup. 

“C’mon Jack, you look stupid. Do it right!” Baby Tooth criticized teasingly and Hiccup narrowed his eyes at the younger girl. She was supposedly on good terms with Jack, but she was always pressuring the boy into uncomfortable (queer-like) situations. Hiccup could feel Jack exhale deeply, taste his minty breath as the air caressed his stubbled chin, before their eyes finally met. Jack really was flustered. He offered a sheepish smile and Hiccup returned the gesture, trying to tell him that it was alright. Why was he getting so worked up? He hated seeing his friend so distressed. 

Throughout the rest of class the other students sketched and made (not-so-subtle) comments about “how cute!” they were, which that only made Jack freak out more. When the bell finally rang Hiccup tossed off the cowboy hat, fast as lightning, and ripped the boa off Jack. Hiccup grabbed his friend’s wrist, quickly collected their books, and rushed them out of the classroom. He caught a glimpse of Baby Tooth’s drawing and saw hearts and rainbows. His blood was pounding. 

“Hic! Slow down!” Jack dug his heels into the floor and they stopped. 

“Look, it isn’t a big deal, they were just having fun,” Jack insisted, trying to calm him down.

“You didn’t look like you were enjoying it,” Hiccup countered and Jack frowned. 

“Well, I…” his voice trailed off into dead quiet. Jack stared at his shoes, deflated. 

“Yeah?”

“Nothing,” Jack shrugged. The bell rang and they never talked about it again.

 

* * *

 

All of the younger kids brought up the topic constantly. Especially Baby Tooth. Those stupid freshmen.

Just because they were really close didn't mean that they had a romantic relationship. Sure, they were more intimate than regular friends, but they were practically brothers. They’d known each other since middle school. So what if they wanted to hug and hang out all of the time? They could do whatever they wanted. Hiccup didn't care about the assholes who gossiped when they found out that they had sleepovers together. Friends slept over at each other's houses! That was a normal thing. Hiccup huffed.

Some people just were digging for something that wasn't there.

"Hiccup… I'm tired..." Jack complained, whining in an intentionally annoying tone. Hiccup didn't avert his eyes from the screen, his thumbs still fiddling furiously with the controller. He was so engrossed in the videogame that he barely noticed his friend was kicking him with his bare foot.

"Cut it out, Jack, I'm trying to focus!" he growled, eyes bloodshot from staring at the television for hours on end. What time was it? Three A.M.?

"I'm trying to sleep!" Jack groaned impatiently.

"So go to sleep." Hiccup wanted nothing more than to play  _ Race to the Edge _ until the break of dawn, but his buddy had other plans. Apparently, his running endurance didn't apply to gaming.

"I can't sleep with the T.V. on," Jack explained, sitting up from his position on the couch and draping himself over Hiccup's shoulder.

"Not my problem," he responded curtly, and his friend didn't speak again. Hiccup cleared three levels while Jack's unmoving body kept him warm. Thirty minutes later, he realized the boy was drooling on him, sound asleep.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" He wiped the saliva off and Jack awoke, poking him the nose with a silly grin on his face. Gods, the kid was that tired? He was feeling exhausted himself, now that the rush of the game had worn off. It was four in the morning after all…

Hiccup clicked off the television and the room was shrouded in darkness. Jack mumbled something and pulled a blanket up to his chest. They both fell asleep before they could get even think about getting off of the couch.

 

* * *

 

Emma waved her hand in front of the senior's face in an attempt to gain his attention. Hiccup blinked and cleared his vision.

"Yeah? What is it?" he asked, rubbing his eyes.

"My parents just went to talk to the doctor. There gonna tell us what's going on," Emma informed him and the brunette boy perked up. Finally, there was going to be answers.

Emma sat in the plastic chair next to him and they both eagerly awaited the news.

It was just past midnight when Jack's parents returned to the waiting room with tears cascading down their cheeks: not what Hiccup had been hoping for. His heart caught in his throat and he rose to meet them, numbness spreading throughout his entire body.

"Broken bones… punctured lung..." the words barely registered in his mind. His head spun and before he knew what was happening Jack's father was easing him back into the chair. He was in shock.

"...Hiccup?" the man asked, and he shook his head.

"What?" the weakness of his voice was appalling. But he was broken, just like Jack.

"Jack is going to…” Mr. Overland’s voice petered off and he swallowed hard before continuing, “Jack wants to see you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Baby Tooth just ships Hijack, that's all. YOU CAN'T STOP THE SHIPPERS, HIC! XD
> 
> I'm anticipating that there will be four chapters in total, at least. This is a very short work with short chapters. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who is reading, leaving kudos, and commenting! I greatly appreciate it! :)


	3. Watch Me Burn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Jack, stop it. I said I was sorry," Hiccup demanded, agitated, while the blue eyed boy was clearly straining to contain his feelings.
> 
> "You shouldn't be the one apologizing. It's my own fault for wishing for something more. It's never going to happen. I need to get over it," the sound of his tightened vocal chords made Hiccup feel wretched, and Jack lifted his head up again to meet his eyes. Something shattered.
> 
> "I'm sorry, okay? I'm so fucking sorry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter starts with a flashback. Just a heads up. I hope that clarifies things. :)

The sun was scorching and so was Stoick’s temper. The heat never improved his father’s mood. Hiccup wasn’t very cheery himself. He was on his way home from a sleepover. Jack had insisted on watching an entire marathon of _Star Wars_ , and as a result neither one of them had gotten any sleep. Stoick was stuck with driving his son because his mom was at work. Valka was never around, really.

“Have you seen Astrid lately?” his father asked, not taking his eyes off of the road.

“Uh… not really… I’ve been busy,” Hiccup answered. Why was his dad asking about Astrid? He was never interested before.

“Busy with who?” Stoick’s meaty fingers were curled tightly around the steering wheel.

Hiccup furrowed his eyebrows, “What?”

“You should be spending more time with your girlfriend instead of that boy,” Stoick grumbled.

“What the hell are you talking about?!” Hiccup couldn’t keep himself from yelling.

“That faggy kid!” his father was shouting just as loud. Hiccup blinked for a moment before he realized who Stoick was referring to.

“Jack?” he exclaimed in shock.

“Yes!”

“We’re not fucking gay!” Hiccup was nearly screaming at his father when the motorcycle sped out in front of them. Everything slowed and time turned to dust. Stoick swerved the car sharply to the side and barred his arm protectively against Hiccup’s chest. They tumbled and the world was spinning. Hiccup hit his head and the world faded to black.

 

* * *

 

Hiccup woke up with a scar on his chin and bruises covering his tanned skin. His body was sore from lack of moment. He took inventory. He stretched his muscles, groaning, and when he tried to wiggle his toes...

Hiccup opened his eyes and discovered a prosthetic foot.

Hiccup didn’t know what to think. That’s the thing, he didn’t think. His brain just shut down. He simply stared at the metal contraption until he heard a gentle voice.

“Hic?” His name was whispered like a prayer. Hiccup realized that Jack was standing at the foot of his hospital bed. He gaped at the blue-eyed boy and didn’t say a word. He couldn’t speak; he was in too much shock. Jack stared at him, his sapphire irises drowning in pity.

“Your dad… he’s dead,” Jack informed him, softly, but the words still stabbed him. The knife twisted his gut and ripped out his insides. Something snapped and Hiccup fell apart in a puddle of tears and shrieks.

“Hic?”

The brunette groggily opened his eyes. Jack had pulled up a chair next to him. He didn’t interrupt as his friend explained how nurses had sedated him. They had been scared he would try to hurt Jack or himself.

“But I would never hurt you,” Hiccup replied. Jack smiled, obviously glad that he was talking, and nodded.

“Yeah, I know. But doctors are dumbasses.”

Hiccup could hear charitable empathy in his friend’s tone of voice as he tried to cheer him up.

“Yeah they fucking are. I don’t think they screwed this fucking foot on right,” he answered grumpily, pouting, and Jack ruffled his hair.

“I’ll paint dragons on it, if that makes you feel better,” his friend offered. Hiccup almost grinned.

“Nah, you’ll screw it up,” he joked and Jack pretended to look offended. He stood up from his chair and strode towards the door, clutching his hand to his chest in a melodramatic fashion.

“You asshole,” Jack muttered even though he was smirking, “I’m gonna go get you water, you ungrateful jerk.”

The door closed and Hiccup discovered that he was almost-smiling.

When Hiccup was released from the hospital his mother bought him a black dog who refused to leave his bedside. Toothless was just as loyal as Jack.

Jack…

Jack stayed at the hospital the entire time and spent the whole summer at his house. Astrid devoted all of her free time to Hiccup, but still, he saw Jack more.

Jack never left him, not for a second.

 

* * *

 

Hiccup quietly followed the Overlands down the glistening white hallway. Normally, no one except family was allowed to see patients in the ICU… unless there was nothing else they could do.

 _“Doctors are dumbasses,”_ Jack once said, ever so accurately. The idiots were giving up on him. They didn’t understand. The world would be a sucky place without Jackson Overland Frost and they needed to do something to prevent losing him. No one had rescued his father, so the least they could do was salvage some of Jack. He’d take anything. He’d take a Jack with no arms and no legs. He’d take a Jack made of metal limbs. As long as the boy was still smiling, he would be content.

Hiccup entered the room with low expectations, but reality was something he couldn’t have prepared for. Jack looked like a train wreck. He was wearing an ivory hospital gown and his body blended perfectly with the pasty bed sheets. His skin was deathly pale, minus the purple bruises and crimson scratches. He resembled a corpse. A needle hooked him up to an IV. He was plugged into life support. Hiccup failed to contain his horrified expression.

The boy’s cracked sapphire irises shifted towards the door and Hiccup took a cautious step forwards. The corners of Jack’s lips tugged upwards by a fraction of an inch.

“H-hic…” the word was so quiet he could barely hear the vowel. Hiccup was shaking, struggling to stop his heart from pounding.

A few years ago, when Jack had first bleached his hair, the acid burned his scalp and he yelped a lot throughout the entire process. Hiccup had been there and without warning, Jack had grasped the other teen’s arm and squeezed tightly. His turquoise nails dug into Hiccup’s freckled forearm. Jack apologized through gritted teeth because they both anticipated the red marks that would be there the next day.

Hiccup hadn’t minded.

 

* * *

 

Hiccup swallowed a mouthful of sobs and mustered the weakest of smiles. He needed to be strong. For him.

“Hey buddy, how you feelin’?” he asked, as if Jack’s entire existence wasn’t coming to an abrupt end. The boy’s eyes brightened just the slightest. His fingers were twitching. Hiccup gently clasped his friend’s hand. His skin was so cold.

“Just peachy,” he replied, false happiness in his hoarse voice. He must’ve been screaming. His eyes were dazed. So many sedatives were coursing through his bloodstream. Hiccup prayed that the boy couldn’t feel a thing.

Jack burst into a painful coughing fit, blood dribbling out of the corners of his mouth, and his entire body convulsed. Hiccup simply watched, green eyes wide as saucers, and squeezed his friend’s hand for dear life.

Emma wept, her sorrow unrestrained, and rushed forward. She wrapped her arms around her brother’s fragile frame and Hiccup released Jack’s hand. He took a step backwards. It took all his strength. He wanted to hold onto the boy and never let go, but he didn’t own Jack. His family came first.

Jack tried to ruffle Emma’s hair but struggled to find the strength to do so.

“It’s o-okay, Em, I promise...I p-promise...you’re gonna be, you’re gonna be f-fine…”

 

* * *

 

Last year, when Hiccup had tattooed his back, Jack had been the only one who didn’t attempt to persuade him not to. Jack encouraged everyone to paint their interests. While Hiccup’s included badass dragons from his favorite videogame, Jack tended to smother every surface with snowflake patterns in an obsessive manner. The blue-eyed boy had almost tattooed his right arm with frost tendrils before his mother stormed into parlor and dragged him home.

But before he left, the teen had plopped himself down on a spinning stool and babbled incessantly in order to distract Hiccup from the pain.

Hiccup had really appreciated that.

 

* * *

 

The world didn’t deserve Jack. It never did, and it sure as hell didn’t now. Not in his last final moments. He was selfless. He wasn’t crying. Instead, he was assuring his family that everything was going to be fine. No. Nothing was going to be okay because Jack was saying goodbye and _why were the gods so fucked up?_ How dare they? The universe must’ve been jealous of the boy who was generous enough to spend his last drops of life thinking of others.

When Hiccup had lost his father, lost his leg, he acted like a selfish bitch. He was worth shit compared to the little white haired angel. The gods should’ve let Hiccup die years ago and saved Jack.

Mr. Overland was comfortingly smoothing his son’s hair back and Mrs. Overland covered Emma’s eyes. Oh gods, _fucking gods_ , this was actually happening.

“I love you,” Jack whispers, his watery eyes drifting over all of them. He looks behind his father and his gaze lands on Hiccup.

“I l-love you,” he breathed again, before his throat started to clog up with blood. His entire body spasmed and there were noisy beeping sounds. The heart monitor was throwing a fit. Emma screamed with fright. Hiccup fell against the wall. Some people entered and took them from the room. Someone grabbed Hiccup’s arm and pulled him away.

He saw the emptiness in Jack’s irises before the door slammed in his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never been to an ICU. I'm not a doctor. I don't know how this stuff goes so this may have been super unrealistic. If you have personal experience or professional knowledge, please let me know. 
> 
> Essentially, my take on it was that the doctors knew they couldn't save Jack so they allowed his family to see him. Hiccup was allowed to see him because Jack specifically asked for him and he was dying anyways. The doctors intervened once Jack started convulsing and made everyone exit the room. I think that's realistic enough...? Your thoughts. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you all for reading. Please leave comments and kudos! ^-^


	4. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiccup spent a year sorting everything out.

Hiccup spent a year sorting everything out. He was still a wreck when he got to college, but at least by then he knew. Astrid confessed she had known all along. Everyone had been aware except for Hiccup, apparently. He wished he’d d known sooner. Before...

Hiccup hugged a Snoggletog scarf to his chest. The fabric was dotted with bloodstains and had long ago lost the scent of frost and pines.

Hiccup stared at the notebook. Mrs. Overland had given it to him to read. The journal really helped him figure things out. Over a hundred pages of lovesick agony. There were razor blades hidden in the back pocket, next to a picture of Hiccup from freshman year.

Hiccup was crying, again.

“I love you,” he whispered into the dark. He was too late, though.

Jack responded with complete and utter silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. The end. Jack died. Hiccup is fucked up afterwards. Eventually he realizes that Jack was gay as hell. He gets to read Jack's diary which is basically a novel called "I LOVE HICCUP " and it's very heartbreaking. Hiccup realizes that he was never there for Jack, not enough, and that if he had only known he could've done something. He could've helped him cope with depression and maybe even... reciprocated his feelings. 
> 
> Comments? Thoughts?


End file.
